VALENTINE'S DAY FRILLIES

I was reading an article by one of my favourite's, A. A. Gill.  Yes, I know he writes like a man who has swallowed the Oxford English Dictionary with a feast of thesauri for dessert, but that is part of his charm ~ along with his acerbic wit of course.

It was in last Sunday's Style magazine in The Times on Sunday, just in time for St. Valentine's Day, and entitled "Silly Frillies ~ Unsuitable Underwear is the Panic Buy that Marks Thursday's Gift-Giving Frenzy"  wherein he advises men against buying frillies for the woman in his life saying men only want to rip it off to get to the prize and women, upon receiving the frillies, think things such as "Do you imagine for one moment that I'm going to have sex with anyone who thinks women should wear that?"

The article reminded me of a time many years ago when I sold such frillies.  And A. A. Gill is right when he writes "Still, the first two weeks of February are the undergarment trade's big moment."

For the said two weeks leading up to St. Valentine's Day sales of lingerie would go through the roof and we would see many men coming into the shop masquerading as rabbits caught in very strong headlights.  Some would hover outside first, gathering up their courage.  Some would launch in and then just make like Mrs. Lot and turn into a pillar of salt (which given the subject of this article is probably the perfect analogy).

We (female) assistants would do our best to make them feel at ease and not at all out of their comfort zone, which they clearly were of course.  After letting them browse the rails of frillies some would try to grab anything regardless of size, colour, style, shove the cash in your hand and make a run for it but some coaxing got them to settle down and pick what they thought appropriate.  We would then gift wrap the chosen item or items tastefully in a glossy black bag filled with lots of gorgeous pink tissue (and the item) and all tied up with a pink satin ribbon.  And then stuffed into a plain white (and very boring) larger bag ~ most men DO NOT want to be seen carrying a beautiful bag tied up with a pink ribbon!

One man, or rather boy really, has stayed in my memory of those days.  He entered the shop looking absolutely terrified (think "entering the execution chamber on death row look") and stood alone not moving.  I went over and spoke to him and he told me he was looking for a gift for his girlfriend.  He was literally a bag of nerves and it was probably the first time he had bought frillies for anyone.  He eventually calmed down a little and finally chose a rather racy little number and after I gift wrapped it (my offer of the plain white bag in which to hide the gorgeous wrapping gratefully accepted) he beat a hasty retreat out of the shop.  I was happy with myself that he had come through the ordeal intact and having had the courage to come in and buy something.

The next afternoon I was at work and noticed the same young man come into the shop with the gift bag in his hand (the plain white paper bag no longer needed or evident).  He stood, despondent, and of course I knew exactly what had happened but approached him asking something like "oh, was the size wrong?".  He said no, it wasn't the size.  His girlfriend hated it and insisted he take it back immediately.  I felt SO sorry for him standing there with his heart and confidence crushed and with his obvious pain at having to come back in and admit this.

We chose a more suitable (and slightly boring) underwear set ~ a pretty vest and shorts and he said not to bother gift-wrapping it, just put it back in the bag from the day before.

He left, shoulders hunched.

And I thought to myself that is probably one of the last, if not the last, times he would ever try to buy frillies for the woman in his life.  All future girlfriends, who might be of a kinder nature, would be denied his buying them anything vaguely frilly or racy.

Why on earth could his girlfriend not have accepted his gift in good faith, had a bit of fun with him, and later discretely discarded the little negligee and knickers?  You might think but that would only open the door to future "unsuitable" purchases but it wouldn't ~ she had a whole year to guide him to the sort of lingerie she considered apt.

So, ladies, if the love of your life arrives home with something you consider tacky so bloody what?!  Would you rather he didn't find you attractive?  Didn't think of you as his fantasy for that one night?  Is that really what you would rather?

Think about it.  That and the amount of courage it probably took for him to enter the lingerie department he bought it from in the first place and laugh, embrace him and enjoy the moment!